May 2013
139 posts
fuckwooper:
money is so stupid and unnessecary we’re meat creatures on a rock floating in space and out entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper
kaylathewonderful:
h4te:
i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free
a robbery. what you just described is a robbery.
i wanna give a high five to every parents who have a hot son good job
izzes:
kids these days with their euro direction and one vision
lets play “how rude can i be until u realize i dont like u”
I don’t really have feelings until 2 am and then i get sad about everything
if you’re upset about the finale of your show this week, no matter which show it is, take comfort in the fact that anything that happened can’t possibly be as awful as Dan being Gossip Girl
mntrose:
The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you
madturbating:
studies show i want to kill you
noire-pandora:
I am that type of douchebag friend who doesn’t talk with you for weeks but still cares about you and hopes you still care too.
hellokiera:
I just want to get a cute apartment with a cute person and wear nothing but underwear and a big t-shirt or sweater and dance around, cook for each other, make our own movies and record each other while we’re playing, smiling, and laughing, and lay in bed together at night snuggled up warm together so close that we can hear each others pulse, ya feel me
louderdecibelle:
koizumim:
really though
if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function
why arent they that distracting to lesbians
and at that point
why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes
#spoilers: its because its bullshit
wxng:
Reasons to Date Me:
No one will ever try to steal me away from you.
Sometimes I’m funny.
That’s all i have
gettibucket:
popcornmassacre:
an anime where everyone in a high school are pastel-haired tropes, involved in crazy, often unrelated circumstances (one group of friends hunts ghosts, there’s a group of magical girls, a bunch of love triangles, etc)
but the main characters of the show are brunette kids who are really confused all the time
I would watch the shit out of this.
poopflow:
roughrimjob:
meladoodle:
she got a pussy like the grand canyon
dry and sandy
possibly filled with dead bodies
acetrainerghirahim:
am I the only person who doesn’t wash their hair every day
cause
when I tell people I don’t wash my hair every day they look at me like I’m some disgusting hobo
marctheknight:
i just wanna be gOOD AT DRAWING PEOPLE KISSING EACH OTHER
n3ck-deep:
If you want to eat pizza and watch Lord of the Rings or Star Wars all day with the occasional sexual break, then you are marriage material.
tickettoheaven:
chafing-nipples:
dangermat:
when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide bananas commit murder suicide
that’s pretty fucking metal
I’d say it’s pretty fucking
bananas
lady-socrates:
alongcameatom:
daintylolihime:
don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem
don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem
don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem and makes you a shitty person
lets be honest here how many parents do you think are on tumblr?
the question is:
how many FUTURE parents are...
come-along-castiel:
Theres a drug raid in the house next door and the policemen who aren’t doing the raid are sitting on a trampoline. Welcome to Australia
Just a few features of my anxiety
Me: *gets on bus* omg everyone is watching me and judging me and they're going to laugh when the bus starts and im not sitting down, omg dont put your ticket in the wrong way or everyone will judge you and laugh at you.
Me: *goes to pay for shopping* omg what if I dont have enough money? *counts money out 20 times* what if I look stupid, or say the wrong thing? am I standing in the right spot even? What if someone else wants to get past and im in the way, omg.
Me: *says hey to someone online* omg, they arent replying, holy shit why am I so annoying? what if they tell their friends how annoying and lame I am? Why am I like this, holy shit.
Me: *meets someone new* What if they dont like me and dont want me to be around, I shouldnt have met them, im going to be a burden, they're probably critisizing me right now, why am I the way I am?
zaymmaliks:
SOMETIMES I WANNA BE A WHORE AND DO DRUGS JUST TO SHOW MY MOM HOW MUCH WORSE IT CAN BE THAN JUST LEAVING MY DIRTY SOCKS ON THE FLOOR
“You will be stupid. You will worry your parents. You will question your own...”
– Ira Glass (via perfect)
cafunedesaudade:
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
jebiwonkenobi:
When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
fuckoff-mondays:
When you listen to a song you used to listen to ages ago and you get that weird as fuck spine chilling feeling as you remember how your life was at that point in time
stylinsungods:
people are always freaking out and arguing over rumors and theories and all of this other shit am i the only one who doesn’t give a fuck anymore. modest is a lying sack of shit and harry and louis are in a relationship what else do i need to know
lastofthetimeladies:
colinfirth:
buttpower:
you never really know someone until you play uno with them and the motherfuckin asshole hits you with a draw four
#friendship has no place at the uno table
#i swear uno doesn’t seem intense and then you play it #and it’s the most intense thing you have ever played
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
stevenfresco:
stevenfresco:
it’s 2013 why can’t i delete friends in real life
ok so it turns out what i was thinking of is called murder
feistie:
megvsshark:
trishhyy:
when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned
Or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree yet.
ITGOTBETTER
cornchipz:
awkwardcontent:
Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
psychoticpingouins:
48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
